First off…Happy New Year!!! Thank you for all the support last year as I start this new adventure…it means the world to me!
The break here was good and I’ll highlight some of our favorite holidays traditions, old and new, in the future…but on to more pressing matters.
Our baby, Anna, arrived at 3:35 am on January 4th…13 years ago!!! Can someone please explain to me where the hell those 13 years went!!!????
When I look at these photos, my heart literally hurts with so much emotion. I can’t even begin to imagine what empty-nest syndrome is going to feel like (let me apologize in advance, Kevin).
I think the two things that surprised me most about becoming a parent is the fact that it is impossible to fathom the amount of love your heart can hold for these human beings and the equal amount of fear your brain will manifest regarding said humans.
Don’t get me wrong, this is the best job I’ve ever had or will have…I mean it is so much freakin fun. Seriously, I love that our family knows how to have fun. (For example–we always do our Christmas stockings on Little Christmas and for various reasons we had a small ice cream cake in the freezer. What a perfect excuse to eat cake! So yesterday, Kevin, who was working upstairs, joined us after school for stockings and cake. This led to a whole discussion about awkward office birthday parties. Kevin said we all had to stand around to eat our cake, while having awkward conversations… Of course the kids had never heard of this, stories ensued and we all ended up on the floor laughing. I said to Kevin last night that Anna is going to be standing in a conference room years from now eating cake and is going to start laughing.)
But the other part of parenting for me is the worry. I worry about every choice I make as a parent. Overall, I think that my kids are happy (when not being asked to do anything around the house) and they are good people. What more could I want? Kevin and I have had tons of parenting conversations (you know, on those date nights when you are not supposed to talk about the kids) and in the end the two things we stress are academics (they are sick of hearing, “your only job is to get the best grades you can get”) and to be a good person (but a couple of years ago i did add “but don’t take crap from anyone” after a couple of issues). We don’t always get it right, but I think we are going to continue on that path and keep reevaluating our parenting choices as we head into the teen years. Please pray for us. 🙂
I get that life can’t be perfect, but I think it’s a parental instinct to want to protect them from pain. I need to remind myself that they will learn from both the good and the bad. I guess what I want is for them to have more good days than bad.
So my dearest Banana (yes I will always call you that),
I hope you have more good days than bad.
I hope you have more good days of feeling confident in who you are.
I hope you have more good days of doing something you enjoy doing.
I hope you have more good days of ending up on the floor from laughing.
I hope you have more good days with moments where you close your eyes, point your face towards the sun and smile.
I hope you have more good days with people that just get you and you get them.
I hope you have more good days with random dance parties.
I hope you have more good hair days.
I hope you have more good days where you find yourself singing in the shower.
I hope you have more good days of truly feeling that you are loved “bigger than outer space”.
I hope you have more nights of lying in bed thinking “that was a good day and I can’t wait for tomorrow”!
And on those few bad days, I hope you can remember all the good days and know that “this too shall pass”.
Anna, you are truly loved bigger than outer space and we are so proud of who you are! Love, mommy
P.S. You are still really good at “the look”! 🙂